Because of exhaustion we've neglected the journal for the past week. We've also been going through some adjustment problems on both sides of the fence. I had done all of the readings so I knew he would have problems, but I wasn't really aware of how my own behavior would be modified by having my own child.
Everyone says, "Your life will never be the same." Renee and I would obediently nod our heads and mutter, "Of course it won't." Hearing it from friends and family doesn't have the same impact as when your son is wailing his head off because you took away the book he was happily destroying page by page. It's a real change.
Renee's mother has been a saint. She's listened to our complaints and worries, and not once did she say, "You're crazy." But I'm sure she thought it. Instead she reminded us that all parents go through this, and that him being in our lives is a blessing. I know she's right, but I still have to remind myself of this during the bad times.
The truth is the good times have far outweighed the bad. For some reason I worry more about his shrieks instead of his smiles. We have to remind ourselves of how sweet it was when he learned, "Kiss," and then demanded several on them when he goes to bed. We have to talk about how he danced with joy just to have his momma rub lotion on him after his bath. We need to think about how brave he was to sit on that fearsome pony, if only for ten seconds. Renee's father put it in perspective when he said, "You know he's a boy right? And sometimes boys do bad things."
I want to thank everyone who sent us a note of support. I have no idea what's going on in America, and it's great to hear from friends and family. I promise to try to post more helpful information for other adoptive parents when we get back home and recover.
Tomorrow we have a twenty hour trip to look forward to. All with a boy who only two weeks ago took his first drive in a car. Now we're going to try to get some sleep before our ride shows up at 1:15 a.m. I don't really think I'll rest, but I'll work hard to remember the good things that John taught me today.
Posted from Almaty on 29 March 2004 @ 8:30 p.m.